Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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