Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
