Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize