Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
