I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
