another moral hangover. fuck.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
