Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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