I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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