dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
