I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
