you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize