After last night, I could never be a politician.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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