i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
