i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize