shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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