somebody snuck up and got me drunk
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
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