T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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