dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize