my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
