During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
