i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
