when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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