My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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