I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
