I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
