I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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