Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
