OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize