I murdered the dance floor call the cops
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
