So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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