Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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