party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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