The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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