Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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