make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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