It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize