Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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