you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
