i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
