Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
