I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
