I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
