yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
