I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
