i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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