Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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