i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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