is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
