So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
how does that bad decision feel?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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