Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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