She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize