I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Randomize
