Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
