he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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