dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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