This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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