do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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