I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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