R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
