It's just like the Real World with babies
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
