What a fucking waste of an outfit
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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