You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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