i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just gift wrapped bread.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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