she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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