I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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