so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
